Darkness That Filled My Heart
by kittylex34
Summary: The things that I have seen are snow and blood, white and red
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes I look out the window and see nothing but snow. Other times I see blood. My mind has been scarred from a very young age. My eyes have seen much blood and the years have been hard on me.

Sometimes when I'm alone I think about the many things that I have seen. My violet eyes have faded into a muddy purple. So dark that not even the brightest of lights can help me.

My hands have been dirtied with the filth of war, my body damaged beyond repair, not that anyone cared. My once shiny blonde head of hair is dull and lifeless. The curl in front of my face unrecognizable, even to me when I have been born with it on my head.

My brother, Alfred, doesn't even come to visit anymore, although he didn't remember me from time to time, he still visited me. Now no one wants to see me; it's as if they don't like me anymore. My heart is pounding, being surrounded by the darkness that consumed it. Sometimes it's nothing that a little pain can't fix.

Sometimes, when I squint my eyes, I could the outline of someone I used to love but then I'll blink and see nothing but a shadow of the tree outside my window.

"Matthew, it's time for your medicine," a nurse said, coming in. She had to pass over some pillows that I've put on the floor thinking that it will keep her and the doctors away.

"I don't wanna," I whisper. "I want Gilbert."

A/N: Please review, it will make me very happy and I will write more ^..^


	2. Chapter 2

Alfred and Arthur were standing in front of the nurse's station. They were waiting for information on Matthew.

"I am sorry, but there is no record of a Matthew Williams in this hospital," the nurse said.

"But, we dropped him off at this very hospital no more than four months ago!" Alfred said, leaning forward to glare at the nurse. Arthur stepped in before anything can happen.

"You have to understand, Mr. Jones," the nurse said, leaning away from the counter. "That he is not here."

Alfred turned around and walked out of the building. There was something going on. He will figure it out and find his brother.

Arthur was scared about happened to Matthew. He hasn't been the same since Gilbert's disappearance; everything just didn't go right for the blonde. He hoped that nothing happened to him.

A/N: I have decided to continue this story. I want to know what people think about this teeny tiny chapter


	3. Chapter 3

The room was much darker than the last one. My mind is being pulled into the dark corners of this room. The walls are closing in on me, with no where to run. Even the nurses, who seem nice, look like they need to be locked up as well. They come in laughing, scaring me from my thoughts. I don't like it here. It's dark and nothing seems safe. In the old place, at least I had an excuse to not look out the window. Here, there are no windows to look out of; here its just wall to grey wall and then bars and it feels like jail.

"You! It's time for some grub!" the big nurse said, when he came to get me. "Don't just sit here! Get up!"

He walked over to where I was and grabbed me by my hair. Pulling as hard as he can, which is very hard, he dragged me to the door. I was weak from lack of food and water. I don't want to eat the food, I just want Gilbert.

Everything was horrible, the food, the people, the patients. The patients were the worst, they pushed me into the wall a few times and then they take my food and dump it. I want to get out of here. Really, it's the most horrible place to ever be in. I want the old room where the nurses came in and had to tip toe around the pillows on the floor. Where the window was always covered and light still came in through the shades. Where people came and visited you even when they don't know who the hell you are.

I wanna go home. That night I cried myself to sleep and a dreamed of Alfred and Arthur and my other friends.

* * *

><p>Arthur stared hard at the computer, where words blurred into a big black blob. The sounds around blurred into silence.<p>

A noise broke into Arthur's mind when the front door was opened and slammed shut. Footsteps pounded up the stairs and walked up the closed doors of his study.

"Why did you I give you the key to my place?" he asked.

The door opened to reveal Alfred. "I don't know," he muttered. "I just want someone to talk to about Matthew."

"I bet Ludwig is took the disappearance of his brother hard as well," Arthur said, thinking back to when Gilbert disappeared without a trace.

"I know, but everything is just so," Alfred started, taking a seat in the chair in front of Arthur's desk. "Hard."

"I know, and we'll find Matthew, just give it some time."

Alfred nodded, still thinking about Matthew and his mysterious disappearance.

Arthur was staring at him, thinking about the same thing but in a different context. _Could this disappearance be linked to Gilbert's? How? _

A/N: Look, a another teeny chapter. Maybe a should post two of them. I do have them typed up and everything. What do you guys think? Oh, and review!


	4. Chapter 4

Red eyes fluttered open when the owner heard the door to his room open. He tried to stand up but was knocked down to the floor. His side hurt too much and who ever was in the room with him was pressing down hard on the injury. It's scary.

"Get up, you filthy devil spawn," the other person said, kicking him.

The body got up and was swaying back and forth, trying to stay standing but failing when he was pushed to the ground again.

_I miss you _was his last thought before he lost conciseness.

A/N: I will post this up because it makes me sad that its so teeny. Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Alfred was looking at his book when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out to see who was calling.

***Unknown Calling***

**555-555-5555**

_Wonder who this could be?_ Alfred thought. When he answered the call, he heard a low raspy noise. Then he heard crying and screaming.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"..."

"Hello?"

"…"

"If you don't answer, then I'm hanging up."

"Wait…" The voice was so small and low and that he had to strain to hear it.

"Who's this?"

"It's…Matt…hew…"

"What?"

"Matt…hew…" the voice said again. "Listen…Al…I'm sorry…They mov…ed me to a…new pla…ce and…I'm scared…"

"But, where are you? Are you okay? Did anyone hurt you?"

"Al…please…come and…get me…they really…want me…to…die…here…"

"What?"

The dial tone was heard, and Alfred stared and his phone for the longest of times. _Matthew, where are you? _

__A/N: I am in school right now and the period is about to finish. I will post another chapter later, after school. REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Pale skin glowed in the moonlight. There was something moving in the corner of the room. Something that shouldn't be here, in this place of darkness.

He stepped closer, his movements slow because of lack of nutrients. As he moved closer to figure, he got a glimpse of blonde hair, a curl laying limp in front of dull violet eyes. Fingers working on untying the rope around the figure's wrist.

"Who?"

"…"

As he moved closer, he was stunned. He was staring at a young blonde man, looking fragile and broken, blonde hair matted to his forehead. Here sitting in a corner of his new room is Matthew Williams, who shouldn't be here. He should be in a nicer hospital, one that didn't have nurses who kicked and pulled hair, one that didn't have dark hallways and even darker rooms. Matthew doesn't belong to here, with him of all people.

"Mattie?"

The blonde head slowly went up and he was faced with how different he looked like. Matthew was not Matthew but someone else entirely.

"My mind is playing tricks again."

"What? No, it's me, Gilbert."

Matthew lifted his tied hands to his face and started scratching. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, for Alfred, for Arthur, for him, Gilbert.

"Oh, Mattie," Gilbert said, racing over as fast as he could. Kneeling in front of the distressed blonde, he pulled the hands away from the bleeding face. "Please believe me when I say that I'm Gilbert."

Matthew cried to sleep, Gilbert holding him down, protecting his face from more self harm.

* * *

><p>Sound, color, light, warmth. It felt wrong in some way. I don't have any of these things. I should have silence, darkness, cold. Why do I feel like someone is with me, holding me, singing a lullaby?<p>

I tried to lift my head from the somehow warm pillow, hoping to see if there is someone there, or if it's just my hopeful, fragile heart.

Opening my eyes, I was faced with a sudden urge to cry. Because, laying with his head on the pillow, closed eyes that I know are blood red, is Gilbert. I want to hope this isn't a dream conjured up by my lack of brain power. I pray everything I know that this isn't a dream. And as I lay my hand over his heart, feeling the even rhythm of his heart, I know that everything I wished for came true.

A/N: One more chapter to go and we are done here. Again review and I will update sooner.


	7. Chapter 7

Alfred and Arthur stood outside the room door, trying to convince Ludwig to come in.

"I don't want to go in," the blonde was saying.

"But, don't ya want to see your brother," Alfred supplied pointing at the closed gray door.

"Yes,but-"

"No 'buts'." Alfred stepped away from the door and stood behind the German. "Artie, help me push."

Arthur joined Alfred and, both, pushed Ludwig in through the door. All three blondes stopped when they entered the room. Gilbert and Mathew were both in the same bed, sleeping peacefully.

"Maybe we should come back later, when they're awake?" Arthur said, tugging on Alfred's arm and the back of Ludwig's shirt.

"Don't leave, I'm awake," a tiny voice said. They turned around and saw that Matthew was awake. Violet eyes were staring to get brighter, probably because of the person lying down next to him.

"Mattie!" Alfred ran to him, hugging with all his strength. "How are you doing?"

"Gilbert."

"Sorry," Alfred whispered.

It didn't matter, because everything was like it should be. Everyone was happy and together.

A/N: It's the end of this story. I will not write anymore. BYE! AND REVIEW!


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